Why can two people eat the same way, move the same way, and still live in completely different bodies?
It’s a question I sit with often alongside clients. And the answer, once you really let it land, has a way of loosening a knot that diet culture spent years tying.
The story diet culture is selling you
Here is the message we’ve all absorbed, whether we signed up for it or not: there is one ideal body. And if you just eat the right way, move the right way, and try hard enough, you can have it too.
It’s a compelling pitch. It’s also a setup.
Because so often this ideal is being modelled for us by influencers who naturally exist in a thinner or more muscular body. People whose genetics predisposed them to look exactly the way they look, largely regardless of the green smoothie in their hand or the workout they’re selling.
When you don’t fit that mould (and most of us don’t!) it’s easy to assume you’re the problem. That you haven’t found the right plan yet. That you just need more discipline.
And that assumption? It’s precisely the vulnerability diet culture is counting on.
It’s how the industry keeps taking our money, our time, our freedom, and our joy. There is always another program to buy, another rule to follow, another version of ourselves waiting on the far side of enough effort.
But what if the effort was never the missing piece?
What body diversity actually means
Body diversity is the simple, science-backed idea that bodies are meant to come in different shapes and sizes. That physical difference isn’t a failure to be corrected. It’s the design.
Just like height, eye colour, and shoe size, body size is shaped by a whole constellation of factors that have very little to do with willpower. Things like:
- Genetics. A significant portion of body size is inherited, written into us long before we chose a single meal. In fact, research suggests that genetics accounts for roughly 40% to 75% of the variance in human body size and shape.
- Metabolism. Our bodies each burn and use energy differently, and they actively work to keep us within a certain range. This is linked to our genetics (our DNA can control variables such as metabolic rate, appetite signalling, and metabolic rate) and can also be linked to our environment and life experiences.
- Body composition. Muscle, bone density, and how our bodies are built all vary from person to person. Some bodies are simply predisposed toward different builds and strengths, which can include genetic differences in muscle fiber composition. These genetic based differences can impact how bodies respond to physical training and build muscle mass.
- Neurological factors. The brain plays a powerful role in regulating hunger, fullness, and weight. This is done through a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, which regulates appetite hormones to manage energy balance and maintain an individual’s set point weight.
Two people can genuinely eat the same meals and take the same walks and end up in different bodies, because they were never running the same biology to begin with.
The puppies make it easier (really)
Here’s a gentle on-ramp I share with clients, because applying this to our own bodies can feel so tender so fast.
Think about dogs for a moment.
If every dog in the world ate the same food and went for the same daily walk, would they all end up looking like poodles? Of course not. A Great Dane would still tower. A dachshund would still be an adorable hot dog. No amount of matching routines would collapse them into one shape.
We accept this instantly with dogs. We’d never look at a bulldog and insist she just isn’t trying hard enough to be a greyhound.
There’s a wonderful short video called Poodle Science that captures this beautifully. I often suggest starting here, because sitting with body diversity in another species lets us hold the concept neutrally, even playfully, before we bring it home to ourselves.
And when we do bring it home, the same truth holds. Human bodies were never meant to match either.
Where Health at Every Size comes in
This is exactly the ground that Health at Every Size, often shortened to HAES, stands on.
Health at Every Size is a framework that recognizes the biological reality of body diversity and promotes wellbeing across a broad spectrum of body sizes. Rather than treating weight as the target, it focuses on health-supporting behaviours and access to compassionate care. In doing so, it directly counters the weight stigma that so often sneaks into how we’re treated, both in healthcare settings and in our own inner dialogue.
It’s a shift from “what’s wrong with this body” to “how can we care for this body, exactly as it is.”
“But not all body sizes are healthy”
This is the pushback that comes up almost every time, so let’s meet it honestly.
It’s true that a person of any body size might not be engaging in health-supporting behaviours. Someone in any body might have a medical condition, or lifestyle factors that are working against their wellbeing. Body size alone was never a reliable readout of health, in either direction.
And that’s actually the point.
Health at Every Size doesn’t claim that every body is automatically healthy. It proposes something more useful: that all bodies, regardless of shape, size, or weight, can engage in behaviours that support health. Things like:
- Joyful movement that you actually enjoy, rather than movement as punishment or penance
- Gentle nutrition that nourishes you without rigid rules or restriction
- Access to healthcare that treats you with respect instead of reducing every concern to your weight
Health becomes something you can practice and access from wherever you are, in whatever body you have, today. Not a prize reserved for one body type.
What changes when you stop fighting your body
When you begin to truly absorb body diversity, something loosens.
The exhausting project of trying to force your body into a shape it was never designed for starts to feel less like a personal failing and more like what it always was: an impossible ask, sold to you by an industry that profits from your dissatisfaction.
And in the space that opens up, you get things back. Time. Money. Mental energy. The freedom to move because it feels good, eat because it nourishes you, and get on with the actual living you’re here to do.
Your body was never the problem to be solved. It was always the instrument carrying you through your life.
Body image and Health at Every Size support in Calgary, Alberta, and BC
As a non-diet registered dietitian, I support clients across Alberta and British Columbia, with in-person sessions in Calgary and virtual care throughout both provinces. Working through body image, body diversity, and a weight-inclusive relationship with food is some of my very favourite work to do alongside clients.
If reading this stirred something in you, I would be honoured to be part of your support system for what comes next.
Book a free Connection Call and we’ll talk through where you’re at and how I can help.
Because your body was never meant to match anyone else’s. You’ve got a beautiful life to live in your unique body. 💜
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